Ease allows indulgence. In journaling it is dictating, in relationships it is nodding, and in creation it is formulaic emulation.
Friction produces quality by forcing attentiveness.
Tag: attention
- Theme: Self
Negative effort
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1–2 minutesChoosing the passive role, remaining open to life’s flows, or the active position, imprinting your will upon situations, are not the only ways to engage with the world.
Simone Weil offers a middle road of “negative effort”: Rather than action or passivity, it is a stance of engaged receptivity devoid of your internal noise.
This is an attentive focus to the present without slipping into becoming a zombified observer.
- Theme: Self
stress is a wonky shopping cart
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1–2 minutesStress thwarts open awareness through intense focus, utilizing the Left side of the brain. Peace allows the non-verbal Right side of your brain (subconscious?) to drift insights and pattern recognition to the surface.
Conditioned to insecurity (precarity) we are experiencing asymmetry.
This produces a constant need for effort as if your shopping cart is pulling to the Left and producing a hideous racket drowning out subtle appreciation.
- Theme: Self
Self-help is not a fix, but a focus
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1–2 minutesReading self-help or jumping into therapy doesn’t fix you; it focuses you.
You will not remember or fulfill all the advice: we change slowly with vast effort over extended periods.
Our biological imperative is to bypass the hard work of change in favor of novelty and laziness, and we must surround ourselves with persistent reminders. - Theme: Growth
“when you gotta go, you gotta go”
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1–2 minutesAn older man said this to me as we peed, side-by-side in the Home Depot bathroom. He then walked over to the sink, slicked back his white hair and mustache without washing his hands, hitched up his pants, and sauntered out.
This type of interaction is worth consideration: the statement is unnecessary but not meaningless. It is not an apology for biological imperative, but a cool guy’s crass excuse as a means to put forward (and seek affirmation for) a way to move through the world.
More problematic is posturing for a man who is peeing.
- Theme: Self
The greater good
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1–2 minutesTo zoom out and see the larger picture over the long term is to abstract the individuals into system components.
Our current ideology, focused on the value of individuals, is at odds with the classic authoritarian willingness to sacrifice to progress.
Now progress must come through the demands of individuals: we must be slyly persuaded to believe in the “good” of the larger picture, subordinating ourselves into cogs determined to make more cogs.
- Theme: Self
Your attention is your state
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1–2 minutesWhere your attention goes is your state of being.
Depression, anger, and resentment are good at drawing and maintaining attention, so we identify with that state.
Unfortunately, humans are not very good at predicting what will make us happy (what will draw our attention) long-term: we tend to normalize positivity quickly, crashing back into negative wool-gathering.For example, a new car or pay raise makes us happy only for a short time, but these are major life-altering positives we predicted would bring us contentment or joy.
To be happy, we must balance pleasure and purpose, but we tend to gravitate towards pleasure without considering extended fulfillment by focusing on our life goals.
– ideas from Paul Dolan
- Theme: Culture
Changing the game, but not the player
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1–2 minutesWe often switch the game without changing our motivation.
Example: We drink until we are out of control, allowing us to lose inhibition and seek attention. We then get sober to stay in power. Feeling empowered, we start to moralize.
The new game comes with new power and accolades from society, from which we can get more attention.
Are we better off? Absolutely.
Have we addressed the primal driver? No.
What happens next? We find yet another game. - Theme: Self
Jumping straight into wisdom
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1–2 minutesThere are stages in becoming wise and selfless. The first one is to be very self-involved.
How do you know if you have anything wise or useful to say unless you practice your voice? You must work on refining how you relate. Naturally, you can jump straight into being helpful, like the over-eager assistant with a ladder spinning about smashing everything and apologizing repeatedly.
The paradox of becoming selfless is to focus on yourself until you do no harm. Of course, practice makes perfect but tread lightly.