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Relationships bid for attention. A request demands a reaction: either share or dismiss.
Some people become vampiric, needing you to sustain them. (And vice versa.)
Your responsibility is your life, not theirs. Do not give improperly until you become resentful; do not be hurtful.
Acknowledge that both people are individuals with boundaries, and then you can enjoy the generosity of kindness for the gift it is, rather than a compelled demand.
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The paradox of looking to others for help is that it creates hurt.
Just as you must decide to help and change yourself, you must choose not to hurt yourself.
Either way, getting hurt or looking for help comes from giving your responsibility to others.
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We see things dualistically: us v them.
Our interests (goals) are disrupted (blocked) by another, creating a conflict. This friction creates an invisible but powerful third object: the problem.
We can choose to fight each other and empower "the problem" or ally against the problem by collaborating.
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A cascading avalanche of trials can crush us. Despite the gory disaster, all you need is a friend who cares and loves you to hear you out.
Be that friend, and your problems will suddenly seem a meager embarrassment.
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Bosses like to issue vague decrees and demands with little clarity and articulation.
This paradigm allows them to decide later how to react: anger at your failure to intuit the invisible or grudging acceptance when you magically do. A dominance play keeps you reliant on their mood with no fixed rubric for success, which comes at the high cost of repeated check-ins and edits, increasing frustration on both sides.
Yet, bosses are often unable to give up control and shirk the hard work upfront, making them the sloppy architect of their sabotage.
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I lost my voice for half a day at a company function.When communication takes too much effort, we tend to retreat into ourselves and become isolated.
I learned two things: one, be sparing with your voice (you didn’t need to talk so much anyway), and two, some people are without a voice every day (be more sympathetic).
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Every problem I have could be self-diagnosed, but until verbalized to another it remains malleable: a hidden truth without consequence.
The accountability of deep friends is the path to becoming whole (seen and not hidden).
They reveal you, which heals you: instead of repression and rumination, you can see clearly, forgive, and try a new way with support.
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All you have to do is hang on. We all change, and familiarity may breed contempt, but it can also motivate grace.
One day, to your utter surprise, your enemies will become your cheerleaders.
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When our time, energy, and consideration are not returned, we become frustrated and resentful. We demand a return in exchange, and when not given, we claim the right of anger at the injustice.
We create transactional relationships by acting on our grievances. Our manipulation (treat me this way, or I will become angry or withdrawn) sets us up to always be disappointed in others.
Instead, try for the gift of consideration freely given, a gift without strings.
