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In a metaphysical sense, all experiences arise and depart, becoming ephemeral. The attempt to hold on to a state requires the effort to re-create that state, which is a futile effort.
More importantly, attempting to hold onto a state, be it glee or rage, blocks you from recognizing the possibility of embracing the current state.
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To "understand" is to grasp rules that allow something to exist and function: to map out the parts and their interactions.
However, infinity breaks these concepts of rules, making us feel small in the face of something vast and unknowable: that is, unmeasurable.
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I was introduced to infinity (endless time and space) through religion. God is beyond time and space, yet knows us intimately and allows us eternal life in heaven or eternal punishment in hell.
You can imagine how this started: "How much does God love you?"
"More than you can imagine: infinitely."
And the inverse becomes, "How bad will your punishment be?"
"It is unfathomable, and forever."
The impulse for both comes from the same sublime conception.
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Our lives are shaped around organizing principles. When our structure is attacked, we either lift the drawbridge or reign fire and boiling oil.
It is easiest to see this reaction with religion and politics, but science, reason, and wealth are the modern castles we defend.
The most difficult to realize we are defending is “nothing.” (Nothing should interfere with us, or nothing is essential.) It is a cynical slide that allows rampant permissions, dismissing structure entirely for the freedom nothing allows.
But we should be able to ask: is this belief leading me to moralize more or treat people better?
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Stress happens. You ride the wave at the moment, feeling gleeful at your balance, but you get caught in the undertow at some point later.
The fantastic thing is to stay afloat as long as we do. The real trick is to ride the undertow with as much grace.
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It is no longer fun to wake up only to play a game in which no room is left for discovery, mystery, or chance.
We so desperately want to control everything (to know everything) that we stiltify our lives into routines that let us hide from reality.
We are winning the "hide-and-seek" game by hiding alone in our routines.
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To be "good," we follow a guide, an abstract image of what a "good person" does.
Attempting to "do the right thing" covers your authentic self, but the repressed emotions remain (primarily resentment).
Rather than being good, be wholly you: an authentic individual expressing feelings, and you may find you are naturally good when not repressing into conformity.
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What you think you know collapses in conversation with a well-read friend.This disruption is a fantastic joy, reopening the world into an exciting complexity again.
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By continuing to work towards being a whole person (integrated), you more naturally and effortlessly are a good person.
The attempt to be "good" means you reference and filter through a socially constructed representation, which is a layer of mediation on top of the "you" who is naturally good. The stress of aligning yourself with a model of "good" diminishes your sincere goodness.
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Science and religion are trying to discover how the universe works, while the engineer is trying to make things work. One is swathed in mystery while the other is purely utilitarian.
(Ted chaing on the Ezra Klein podcast)
