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Nietzsche says revenge is an attempt to “will away” what happened in the past.
As Nietzsche says, trying to erase the past to reset boundaries is an extraordinary folly.
It is impossible, which means your willful logic enacted is self-deception, which creates a version of you that can never return to reality or forgiveness.
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When we think of selfish people, we tend to think of egotists: people who disregard our feelings in favor of their pride.
However, a self-centered person could also care too much about what others think of them. An insecure, self-centered person needs your feelings.
It may look like compassion at first, but this is only to build rapport before they reaffirm themself through your feelings.
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The Herculean hero is striving for depth. Constrained by external challenges or internal heroics they are either slaying dragons or destroying themselves.
During times of peace, the hero enacts images of salvation or expiation.
If the image is read shallowly, the hero must conquer the motif repeatedly (continually becoming) leading to self-destruction.
However, if the hero can embody the image with depth, that is to remain within the image rather than use it as instruction, the fantasy image can save rather than destroy.
from James Hillman
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By being beneficial to one’s community.
You must be of use, not because somebody else feels better or praises you, but because it is beneficial to others. (Being of use is not simply one’s actions or utility but derives from your worth.)
Of course, one must first take responsibility for separating your tasks, and not seeking affirmation or praise from others. Aid must be given voluntarily, otherwise it is self-serving.
From Alfred Adler
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Some people are an annoyance: they will suck off of you and bother you and steal your energy and resources. These people have no desire to become self-sustaining but do not actively intend harm.
The acceptance of the parasite allows a space for the camouflaged predator to approach. The predator is self-sustaining by ruining you completely.
Some people allow the parasite, which opens them up (softens them) to the predator. Others maintain a vigilant stance against any suffering by refusing empathy, which protects them against future predation.
The difficulty is judging people: beyond the parasites and predators, a third option is a person who requires a boost before weening themselves into self-sustaining behavior.
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Everyone has some facet in which they are over indexed for identity.
"I may not drink, but I run marathons" or "I may be soft around the middle, but I’m hard-core for (name your salvation)."
this point of fixation (fixity) becomes our flag and crutch. while we prefer the single utility machine, taken to a robotic, uncompromising extreme, there are those looking for the mutable and mushy, the gelatinous, from which fluid change is possible, and no singular point can be determined or taken.
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There is another probable version of you that you could choose. This is the other you, the potential you.
You could continue choosing the most unlikely version of yourself until you move into the improbable: you choose your way out of reality. Yet, we tend to have elasticities that snap us back into a recognizable self.
It is only the courageous, or the crazy, who can continue beyond the probable to become something entirely other.
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The real me is superior to this situation.
If only the actual, authentic self were revealed or unleashed, success would be at hand. However, we are often inferior; if we cannot admit this, we will continue to be lacking.
Our dreams of being secretly superior are, at first, escapist fantasies. Yes, we should dream, but lest we indulge in our unmaking, we must utilize them to inspire action.
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Who you are is strengthened when you unearth and convey the times you were deeply fulfilled.
Don’t spend your valuable time with friends dismantling yourselves. Instead tell of the acts that fulfilled you, the personal small tales that reaffirm your unique value in the world.
The trick is to recall that odd moment that thrilled only you, not others.
from Luke Burgis
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Masculinity has become excessive and performative. To be “masculine” is to be in drag, commanding attention through a ritualized, traditional set of affectations.
This only occurs when there is no place for actual masculinity: there is no longer anything for masculinity to do.
