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I abhor the common refrain, often an excuse from responsibility, that we need to “find ourselves”.
Yet, without a small gap or space in which to practice pointless tasks you will not find what resonates deeply with you. Without grasping what brings you joy without needing function, or utility, it seems unlikely you could ever be a “self.”
You risk being a “being” produced by the society by not discovering, on your own initiative, your own priorities.
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For dignity we pursue honor, love, or power. These often take the form of conquest, simultaneous desires, and discipline.
The conundrum is to distinguish our singular “self” we become embroiled in self-defeating behaviors. The more victorious you are, the more divided you become.
And yet, this game persists, and the trick is to play it well.
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Patience is only a virtue if you have power.
When you are powerless and told to be patient, you must wait on the “powerful” to fulfill your request. Patience is a control mechanism: we will grant you rights and privileges if you behave.
Being impatient and impulsive threatens the stability of the carefully constructed lives of those with something to lose. The impetuous act is offensive because it is uncontrollable, unmanageable, and undeferential.
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Aristotle suggests the highest human virtue is leisure.
Not producing (or consuming) is when you can self-reflect and pontificate.
Every other action, such as war, politics, or vacation, serves some other function.
The real question is: if we have forgotten how to serve ourselves, we must always serve a function.
{from Oliver Burkeman, “4,000 weeks” }
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It is easy to succumb to justice: dadgummit, we are in the right. However, being "right" prevents you from living fully.
There is definitely a type of vital energy in rage, but it is a narrow range of living: a trap of intensity that drowns joy.
Within this trap, we live in a state of strained repetition: embalmed in injustice.
“He was embalmed no longer in injustice.” Phillip Roth, The Human Stain
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A friend brought up “the lack of accountability” in politics.
In response, I brought up “the path to forgiveness,” suggesting we can hold people responsible, but allow resocialization. Otherwise, there is no reason for the “tyrant or abuser” to submit to rehabilitation and reintegration.
They responded that they would “never forgive Trump.”
In this situation, the impulse for accountability operates as a virtuous term, while smuggling in revenge-justice.
What I fear is a system with no possibility of recuperation; only punishment and a lifetime of alienation. In such a system we create and enforce opposition: once one mistake is made, the only logical thing to do is go further afield and amplify your martyrdom, because you can never return.
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Your unseen qualities are not valued. Therefore they tend to be underdeveloped.
To awaken and nurture the multiple aspects of yourself you must create (or find) the conditions that grow your underdeveloped attributes. This is necessarily uncomfortable; embrace it.
