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Tag: insecurity

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    Perfect Procrastinating

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    1–2 minutes

    A common trait of the procrastinator is an inability to prioritize.
    They can be productive and busy without achievement.

    One method is to be a “perfectionist” who can never release your projects into reality, constantly tweaking and rebuilding, and worrying.

    By blaming the project, we can hide our insecurity. A flawed product released into the world will provoke criticism, and prove our lack of talent. A theoretical project never realized shelters our ego: I may not be successful, but you can’t say I am not talented.

    More than likely, the procrastinator is hiding rather than perfecting, but occasionally a masterpiece is achieved, which only empowers more procrastination.

  • Theme:

    the power of precedence

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    1–2 minutes

    Set a precedent, and people will link to it as validation.
    We must portray a new situation as similar to the precedent by stripping away context for correspondence (alignment).
    We appeal to the prior decision because we consider logical consistency valid, a bedrock of fairness and justice.
    Yet, every situation is unique in its specifics, and similarity is merely a heuristic. In this regard, popularity is as valid an appeal as precedence.

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    Once we lived for salvation, now we live for status

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    1–2 minutes

    We went from a loving Father to the Protestants’ God from whom we could not earn salvation (we were all sinners reliant on his grace). As anxious souls unable to control our destiny, we channel insecurity into work: visible virtue.

    Excessive work accumulates wealth, so we flipped the signified and signifier to claim “wealth” as God’s favor and our status through materialism (not spiritualism or kindness).

    Our insecurity drove us into the arms of a more capricious, uncaring, and taxing God: Money. The comfort of the trade is the objective measure of our salvation, which proves most of us unworthy once again.

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    You are a puppy

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    1–2 minutes

    The nature of consciousness is open, accessible, curious, and unconditionally loving. If we can let go of the chatter in our heads (insecurity, anxiety, and problem-solving), our inner puppy can come out to play.

  • Theme:

    The paradox of Social Approval

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    1–2 minutes

    If you live for other people’s approval (i.e., the need to be liked), you must always submit to them, making you detestable.

    This unlikeable “contingent self” is the paradox of seeking external validation, which of course, we all need.

  • Theme:

    Death Transference Objects

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    1–2 minutes

    We all have transferrence objects to make our life meaningful when faced with the inevitability of death.

    This can be your shoe collection, religion, or culture. We transfer our insecurity into external stabilizers and signifiers, proclaiming loudly our significance against the inevitable.

  • Theme:

    Fickleness of Recognition

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    1–2 minutes

    If you want attention from a certain audience, put energy into that space. If you want freedom from catering to other people’s acceptance maintain your independence.

    The trade-off is for recognition, which is how we tend to measure success, but external validation is a fraught and fickle path.

    Today they love you, tomorrow they don’t.

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    Malicious vs Incompetent

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    1–2 minutes

    "The mistake was not malicious, just incompetent."
    This implies non-malicious intent, which is forgivable.
    Yet, inaction to become competent is malicious, because the effects of incompetence and malice are the same.
    By perpetuating the correlation that incompetence has no intent (such as a means to avoid responsibility or confrontation) we create a sheltered space for a pity monster to repeatedly harm us while apologizing.

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    Striving breaks symmetry

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    1–2 minutes

    To be well-rounded implies balance and symmetry. Yet, symmetry seems antithetical to striving: the focus in one direction distending the form.
    This analogical thinking uncovers my implicit bias: mathematical shapes as models for humans contain and reduce us.

  • Theme:

    Winging it

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    1–2 minutes

    You can wing it and claim success, because you forgave yourself in advance.
    This is how we start most things, but it is not your best: you prioritize "good enough" in the moment over considered preparation.