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Our nation is divisive and fracturing into tribes.
Why? The radicalization machine is fed by alienation.
Since alienation fractures communal bonds into tribal factions, we become myopic in our problem-solving. This is by design: self-centered rage is easily manipulable, providing pawns and cover for greater social ills.
Rather than choosing a side, realize there is a larger game being played: you are playing Pin-the-Tail-on-the-Donkey while real-life Battleship is bombarding.
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The more you avoid conflict, the more you repress your feelings. You present a false you, while the real you grows resentful and angry; you are secretly hurting.
Eventually, you will create the argument you need to voice your pain, but it will be a huge mess you will end up apologizing for. Your avoidance somehow became amplification.
The explosion confirms (to you) that you are the kind of person that messes everything up, so you’ll keep on avoiding conflict, until you explode again.
Instead, try to verbalize your feelings as they arise, not laying blame on the other person. Over time you will find it’s easier for you to stand your ground without a fight, without drama.
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Beginning from perfection guarantees reality will come up short.
However, if we start from a position of blankness (non-anticipation), every benefit or character trait is a novel addition instead of a subtraction from the ideal.
Starting from the ideal promises unconentment and loss.
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We can point at a "why" to explain when we do things.
When we fight we can claim family (or a friend) provoked us. But knowing "why" allows us to misuse the stated purpose for the real reason: the real reason is never the stated reason.
Often a fight is a means to be close, get attention, to feel intensity and release, only to revel in the bonding of the aftermath.
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Don’t put somebody in a corner unless you’re ready to accept the opposite of confrontation.
Often a fight is a way to re-secure position or bid for attention, but it is such a stressful encounter that a secure person will avoid your attachment style, leaving you no one to fight with.
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A fight is how you confront someone in a way that they cannot avoid.
The ultimate goal is to get close, though it seems that you are agressively pushing away.
The fight is a bid for attention. The anxious person is seeking confirmation that they are worth your attention.
This is a form of intimate bonding. And while the secure person may be able to walk away (exhibit self control) to do so breaks the relationship.
There can be no closeness (intimacy) when one party is avoidant (stonewalling).
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What people biologically want is the path of least resistance, a continued narrowing of scope interaction, and intellect.
Anyone can create frictionless content, and dumb items for consumption. To make something lasting attempt to map out your own desires, and then look outside of them: take on the hard thing no one knows they want.
This process at least has a chance of impacting lives in a meaningful way.
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The more we attempt to assert ourselves, the more we tend to fight for the same things. dominance through conquest.
This is odd: to declare ourselves “different” is a means of attaining uniqueness through capturing the same flag everyone else is chasing. This is not different, merely successful.
To be unique want something else. Otherwise you measure yourself against others fickle, negotiable, shallow desires
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It is not enough to know why you fight: you must fight the right way.
The ends can not justify the means unless they are in accordance with the spirit of your values.
You cannot fight to save lives by taking lives, you cannot fight to save friends by sacrificing friends, you cannot fight for love using hate.
This seems obvious, but it is far from simple or easy to practice.
