Interpersonal conflict drains you. Anger and despair create desperate energy, which exhausts.
The better path is to collaborate with comrades: generate creative energy, powering you for days with no hangover.
Tag: anger
- Theme: Self
The Energy of Combat vs Comrades
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1–2 minutes - Theme: Self
Forget Reciprocity
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1–2 minutesWhen our time, energy, and consideration are not returned, we become frustrated and resentful. We demand a return in exchange, and when not given, we claim the right of anger at the injustice.
We create transactional relationships by acting on our grievances. Our manipulation (treat me this way, or I will become angry or withdrawn) sets us up to always be disappointed in others.
Instead, try for the gift of consideration freely given, a gift without strings.
- Theme: Self
Malicious vs Incompetent
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1–2 minutes"The mistake was not malicious, just incompetent."
This implies non-malicious intent, which is forgivable.
Yet, inaction to become competent is malicious, because the effects of incompetence and malice are the same.
By perpetuating the correlation that incompetence has no intent (such as a means to avoid responsibility or confrontation) we create a sheltered space for a pity monster to repeatedly harm us while apologizing. - Theme: Self
The gift of spite
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1–2 minutesYou can give somebody, your children for instance, the gift of having somebody to spite, allowing yourself to be the target of animosity.
If we say "you can become whatever you want," we abdicate reality for dreams. This locates future failure inside of the person: if they fail, it is shamefully on them for not wanting or trying enough.Can we reverse this? Can we offer the gift of realism from which overcoming is legitimately achievable, though producing short-term spite? And in doing so generate practical self-confidence?
- Theme: Self
Processing Anger
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1–2 minutesI was angry when I went to bed, I was angry when I woke up. After three hours of being angry, I sat down and let myself be angry. I looked at the anger.
The emotion turned into ennui instead of anger; an inevitable sadness weighed upon me.
Sitting with that sadness I began to journal, and it lightened me some.To dissipate the emotional cycle completely I shared the day’s struggles with a loved one.