"The mistake was not malicious, just incompetent."
This implies non-malicious intent, which is forgivable.
Yet, inaction to become competent is malicious, because the effects of incompetence and malice are the same.
By perpetuating the correlation that incompetence has no intent (such as a means to avoid responsibility or confrontation) we create a sheltered space for a pity monster to repeatedly harm us while apologizing.