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Vacation’s premise of recouperative rest and respite has become work: we manically “add value” to our expensive “free time”.
We cram novel experiences (and novel foods) into the vacuity we gave to ourselves, attempting to fill it while neglecting to consider that floating in a vacuum, untethered and unencumbered, would be the ultimate novelty.
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Whether opening a pickle jar, debugging software, or growing your business, brute force is often the go-to move.
You can apply more force, more hours, more power, more dollars, or more bullshit.
This phase of problem-solving is when you are familiarizing yourself through practical experience — literally "feeling it out" — which grows into instinct and eventually begets elegant solutions.
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No one is forcing you to behave this way. You have chosen it.
Our behavior is goal-oriented but often comes from two instincts:1. To establish a consistent self (this is how I am and will always be.)
2. Protect yourself by signaling (I want you to know there is a cost to engaging with me.)
Example: If I choose to be miserable when you ask me to work, I make it painful for both of us while reinforcing my perceived character as a means to better train you.
Example: If you had a bad day, I would belittle your problems with my lousy life, winning at victimization while simultaneously declaring the strength to bear more than you. So, I’m always re-shaping our relationship to force you to defer to me.
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There is always one more hurdle, and the time is never right.
Instead, could you move the moment you feel it? Don’t delay even a second: be spontaneous and find yourself living a fuller (more authentic) life.
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Winter is a time of scarcity and sparseness, mild desperation, and waiting. Without the lush distractions of life, forgotten things are revealed, and repressed lessons are recalled.
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Loss of purpose reduces the ability to think well of yourself. Once a vital goal is lost, every decision is reactive rather than proactive: we either defer indefinitely or attack ideas as enemies.
Another way to say it: When you lose where you are going, you lose who you are. You may retain power, but your decision-making is compromised and reactive, so the decisions of others move you.
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When we begin to understand consciousness, we will turn it into a tool. We will create with it, harness it, enslave it, and manipulate it.
Which is not understanding consciousness; it is using it. Can we leap this phase into wisdom?
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Solidarity is found in work, in manifesting a shared purpose. Workers can also find communion in refusing to work, shifting "non-work" into political work.
Yet, the daily negation of production has a psychological cost.
"Doing nothing" to manifest change has an inverse logic, requiring more communal discipline than the simple satisfaction creation.
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The idea of being useless is somehow worse than the idea of death: to be useless scuttles social standing and personal ambition.
Being useless is to be alone and irrelevant in our society, which reveals our primary dysfunction.
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All you have to do is hang on. We all change, and familiarity may breed contempt, but it can also motivate grace.
One day, to your utter surprise, your enemies will become your cheerleaders.
