You may think you know who you are and you have a relationship with yourself, but we only know our “intellectualized self.” This is, in essence, a causal, scientific, and even deductive version of the self, which is reductive.
We examine who we are by asking “Why?” which leads to a specific, limited response: a fixed label of your motivation, often located in shame, guilt, or victimhood.
(example: Why am I feeling this way?)
Alternatively, if we ask “what?” we can label emotions and generate new multiple responses, which can be healing.
(example: What am I feeling?)
This is odd: Asking “why” limits and implies singularity, while “what” labels and remains productively open.
The counterargument is that only labeling (asking what) dodges taking the onerous responsibility of fixing a flaw: it remains at the naming and acceptance stage rather than engaging the process of taking responsibility.