withholding is controlling

You don’t withhold your feelings for the other person out of kindness or care.

You do it for yourself: to void future abandonment and to cover your ass. That way, no one can ever blame you.

Withholding is a form of control.
You present a “fake you,” which is manipulative, and when people discover the deception they leave, robbing you of your stability. Or they stay, and you resent them because you have to keep pretending.

(From Nick Pollard, mostly)




attention awareness behavior belief change choice contradiction creativity death desire ego empathy fear forgiveness freedom goals growth happiness identity individuality insight knowledge language life love nature pain perspective politics power present productivity psychology purpose rationality reality reason responsibility self society stress time truth value work