We create our failures: they are our excuses not to succeed because some part of us is scared.

"I can’t do that, it would compromise who I am."

We protect our "self" relentlessly, setting up fail-safe double binds to protect our scared ego: "I am not liked because I am not likable" or "To be true, I must isolate."

The symptoms of our distress, perhaps a psychosomatic ailment, are resolved once we work past our self-righteous barriers. And yet, if we keep solving the excuses (I am not likable, I am authentic), our protectionist psychology creates new excuses to prevent change, which means we continue to hurt.

{Adlerian psychology}