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You don’t want what you want. What you wish for has been introduced to you.
Take control of your mimetic desire by choosing to love what you have and surrounding yourself with a reinforcing group that values perennial values.
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Everything I complain about now, I wished to have at some point. The maintenance of all my fulfilled desires is a tiresome chore.
Yet, if I wish away my responsibilities and toys, that dream too will be granted.
More appropriately, I should remember to be thankful rather than spiteful.
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Personal realization: I don’t want anything. I only wish to feel no discomfort.
The unfortunate aspect of this epiphany is the corresponding lack of drive and a tendency towards avoidance.
It is not life-affirming, and without active purpose, I am subconsciously afloat and vulnerable to manipulation.
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Don’t ask, "what do I want from this?" Ask, "do I want this?"
The difference is getting what you can versus realizing this is not something you want.
We spend too much time extracting what we can, pleased with the getting, but stepping back (by reframing the question) asks if we even want to be in the situation.
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How do you balance strength and confidence with kindness and empathy? To be sensitive and rational tends towards acquiescent compliance: a non-heroic trait. To give up sensitivity and rationality is to become brutish.
You only find the confidence by considerately tending to your beliefs and boundaries. You achieve heroism not by hiding behind boundaries, but by loving across them.
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We are a vacuum cleaner sucking up experience and chasing desired dust bunnies. Often we suck up the same desires over and over to be consumed again and again.
What does it mean to be a vacuum cleaner on repeat, an endless loop?
Is it possible to take a moment to feel yourself in the present moment and realize you are already full and fulfilled? What if this perpetual suck is hiding that we were good all along?
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To dream up your goals, to achieve them, to manifest the projection of the "you" you want to be is magic… it is literally a groundless illusion made from imaginings.
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To fit in requires you prove yourself over and over, only to find out it will never be enough. We know this is ridiculous, but here we are again.
Instead, make your own game and when people want to join: be gracious.
