When your desires are denied, you are no longer yourself, which causes anxiety (to lose yourself.)
We identify with our desires. To be without desire is to be no one or nothing: unrecognizable, unrelatable, “lost.”
Tag: identity
- Theme: Growth
turn inward to turn outward
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1–2 minutesTo turn outward -to engage in politics- we must first turn inward to establish our identity.
However, this once introspective process of establishing character based on transcendent ideals can move from the internal and latch onto the external pre-existing, immutable markers like race, ethnicity, and gender as primary characteristics.
This reverses the process: instead of “I am Y, thus I align with X politics,” it becomes “I identify as X, therefore this is my politics.” We’re not truly seeking identity but grasping at given markers: we are not pushing back against the apparent, but refusing to seek as we declare we are found.
- Theme: Self
The Desire Beneath the Wish
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1–2 minutesTodd McGowan observes that unconscious desire often underlies, and contradicts, conscious wish. We may want our team to win, yet switch off the game when loss looms—choosing the pain of lost hope (injury) over the risk of joy (elation).
This reveals deeper drives: to suffer is to reaffirm loyalty to our identity, to take on pain is to reenact inherited roles (from parents or siblngs).
Our conscious goals are often elaborate rituals masking deeper identifications—with victimhood, struggle, or ancestral behaviors. Whether we flee or endure, we are not just chasing outcomes, but fortifying our identity through therepetition of familiar emotional terrain… despite what we say we want.
- Theme: Growth
critical thinking misplaced
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1–2 minutesCriticism often serves as an intellectual escape, allowing us to scrutinize others while avoiding deeper engagement with reality.
We readily dissect motives, biases, and flaws in individuals yet neglect the same rigor when examining institutions, ideologies, or our own inconsistencies.
This selective application of reason reflects a cognitive bias—externalizing problems is easier than confronting personal or systemic change. We are logical, but are selective in our application of reason.
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– - Theme: Self
voting against their own best interests
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1–2 minutesPeople "vote against their interests" is a notion that smacks of elitist snobbery and patriarchal disappointment, proclaiming a failure (blindness or idiocy) to perceive future benefits and overcome emotional/social pressures.
Yet our government permits gambling, lotteries, and alcohol—hardly beneficial to anyone, instead encouraging self-destructive tendencies. So, this reversal of occasionally demanding sober decisions is scarcely consistent.
Moreover, defining ‘best interest’ is tricky: Is it economic or familial values or pride in honest, hard work despite low pay?
America’s founding was based on rejecting taxes and religion. I’m sure the crown assumed the ‘best interests’ of English citizens were aligned with the monarch’s desires (such as a new wife, Henry VIII, or empire expansion and war, George II & III). After numerous cases of abuse, the wisdom of leaders and their promises to "care-take" are thinly veiled acquiescence to future abuses.
And yet, we must outsource our ‘best interests’ to representatives, who should moderate their ambitions/desires to interpret and act on behalf of a populace, some who struggle to envision a better life, but can still allot a portion of hope through a vote. To declare their vote foolish is to become foolish ourselves: to stop listening and play wise for our desires.
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– - Theme: Self
revolution as self-liberation
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1–2 minutesRevolution/rebellion begins with personal stakes—felt oppression, not mere empathy for others. Self-sacrifice isn’t for altruism but for one’s liberation.
That is, manifesting agency amidst injustice is to find existential autonomy, which often combines with a collective movement that both instrumentalizes sacrifice and rehumanizes the oppressed.–
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– - Theme: Self
Invisibility in the system
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1–2 minutesInvisibility within a system breeds vulnerability—one can be exploited without recourse.
The contradiction at the core of tracking is identification: those invisible are denied social boons and societal protection, while over-exposure threatens to sell autonomy and threaten incrimination if regimes change. While the US goal of freedom (or liberty) fundamentally denies tracking, at its extreme, it allows for human exploitation, such as cartels and sex trafficking.
Striking a balance between bureaucratic control to safeguard against systemic abuses and preserving fundamental liberties seems reasonable, and yet we continually fail in both directions. –
- Theme: Systems
individualism or tribalism
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1–2 minutesOver-individualism breeds alienation, while reactionary tribalism fails to foster authentic communities.
Modern individuality is hollow, shaped by capitalist forces that commodify identity, leaving us neither as “genuine individuals” nor members of cohesive communities. Instead, we inhabit a "flattened society" of performative roles and narrow, market-defined behaviors.
Even contrarian tribalism, while offering relief from the anxiety of self-definition, often mirrors the same consumerist logic it seeks to escape. It fragments individuals into insular groups, perpetuating division.
Both trends—over-individualism and tribalism—separate us without cultivating the depth of selfhood or stabilizing community needed to resolve our ennui, melancholy, rage, despair, or loneliness.
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– - Theme: Self
Arguing is about wanting, not winning
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1–2 minutesIf you want to argue, the desire -the want- is key: a void needs to be filled or an itch scratched.
Arguments work well to avoid the “inner lack” because winning never means it is over. Rather, arguing is primarily about ego or emotional positioning, which is continual: a never-ending battle with others driven by avoidance of self.
- Theme: Self
Nice vs Good
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1–2 minutesTo be nice is not to be good, to be good is to stand for what is good.
Being nice is polite, wanting to be being liked, and sacrificing the good to get along, despite knowing better.
Sure, you can be nice and kind up to a point or be politically astute up to a point, but a whole person (an authentic, emotionally secure, resilient individual) will cease polite agreement and take a stand for what is good.