Modern self-help promotes boundaries as self-protection, cutting off once-loved ones for their behavior. This enclosure by exclusion appears as strength, yet masks and promotes frailty.
Sustainable strength emerges (not by cutting people off) by recognizing autonomy: no one can control you, despite their behavior.
Instead of approaching relationships as positivity loops and reacting defensively, refuse to surrender your selfhood and grow in resilience and generosity.
Boundary isolation as hard-won autonomy feeds narcissism under the guise of self-care.