Having a spine, taking action, and not being pushed around are lauded as stable until someone stumbles into the wall of your will and breaks their agenda. Then you are stubborn.
Some stubbornness is contrarian: “I will do it my own way.”
Some stubbornness is rebellious: “I do not submit to your authority.”
They can be active or passive-aggressive, but both stem from a default antagonistic reaction.
An excellent way to be stubborn is in your stabilizing process:
- Be slow and considerate.
- Listen carefully to others.
- Tally the possible outcomes.
- Probe your motivations before acting.
When you do act, it is solid, not a whim or momentary manipulation.
The conundrum with this process is that once you have reached a decision, you have (typically) done more work than the person wanting you to budge or expend yourself. This leaves you frustrated, prone to sunk-cost fallacy, and often in possession of a richer grasp of the situation than your interlocutor, which leaves you better equipped to act on their behalf. Still, you do that too often, and you are unstable.