The reason you recognize damage is because you were damaged.
The reason I can spot abuse, wrapped in pretty lies is because I was lied to, taken advantage of.
In such ways our insight grows: not to do what’s been done to us, but to ameliorate the progress of pain, while still imparting the learning.
After all, we do not want to eradicate a survival instinct, but we do not want to traumatize either.