You can merge with society to fit in and gain solidarity and comfort. But only you can be you, and great innovation comes from the fringes, not the middle. Vacillating between solitude (singularity) and solidarity (belonging) is a practice we must cultivate.
Comforting a hurting friend hurts, because we support (share and enable) their emotions to support them. Empathy is taking on their hurt. We lose ourselves for solidarity, in order to pull them from solitude, transforming the distinct people into “us.”