You can give somebody, your children for instance, the gift of having somebody to spite, allowing yourself to be the target of animosity. If we say "you can become whatever you want," we abdicate reality for dreams. This locates future failure inside of the person: if they fail, it is shamefully on them for not …
Everything depends on how you look at it, not what it is. This is a reversal of objective reality for subjective truth. By determining your attitude you reorient, but it appears to alter the fixed outcomes of reality.
Soren Kierkegaard distinguishes between objective truth and subjective truth. We can argue empirical (objective) reality while the felt truth of the (subjective) self must be taken at face value. To deeply understand faith, Jazz music, or falling in love they must be experienced; they cannot be apprehended only through reading or observing. This leads to …
"Attention is rewarded by a knowledge of reality." To be led away from yourself towards some alien thing is to encounter something independent of your consciousness. You cannot take it over, deny it, or swallow up. (Quote and paraphrase of Iris Murdoch.)
If you don’t know what reality is, how can you fix the world? Gandhi says "Change yourself before changing the world," but you can change into a more deluded person if you do not see the world clearly first.
