It only takes two years of being hurt and frustrated to come across as suddenly wise and resilient. Perhaps wisdom is derived from suffering manifested as empathy. Shared pain opens us to listen and respond with vulnerability. Not that others need to listen, but merely offering an ear and commiseration while people are in despair …
One enlightenment tactic is broader and broader empathy: if you are empathetic for a person, I am empathetic for people; if you are empathetic for animals, I am empathetic for rocks as well. To win, move from the individual particular, to the abstract universal. Going meta is not love: true empathy is staying here in …
Fluctuating moods come from caring about others: to connect is to risk stability. Simplistically, you can sit on the shore, drown, or learn to surf. The problem is that surfing requires an inhuman mastery of persistent balance. There must be an effortless way to do all three simultaneously: collapse the wave.
Comforting a hurting friend hurts, because we support (share and enable) their emotions to support them. Empathy is taking on their hurt. We lose ourselves for solidarity, in order to pull them from solitude, transforming the distinct people into “us.”
