One thing Buddhist masters figured out was that you cannot control the mind, thoughts, or emotions. However, people cannot give up trying, so you have to force the issue.
The first step is to tell somebody not to desire. After trying not to desire (to control desire) the student will say “I no longer desire.”
The teacher will point out, “you now desire not to desire.”
The paradox of control is to always end up within a larger process: You think you were having an “experience” but it is all experience. Your refined, increased control only proves your rigidity and what you cannot control.
The only way to teach this concept is not intellectual: you must speed up the eventual failure, which will -then- allow one to relax and see differently.
From from [[Alan Watts]]