Relationship fights tend to get caught up in an “instance.” There are moments of disagreement; both sides pitch themself as rational, the other as hurtful or inconsiderate, and a list of details and grievances unfolds.
You can choose to make war, but the details are irrelevant. You could get past them in a second if… if something else more fundamental was repaired.
Someone (maybe both parties) doesn’t feel loved. What if you choose to love them so thoroughly that they stop acting out? Would loving them, instead of focusing on your pain, also heal you?